Last month writer Shelley Hadfield published an article entitled, 'Parents urged to take a step back to help children'. It echoes the sentiments in the popular article that appeared in The Atlantic earlier this year, 'Why parents need to let their children fail', written by teacher Jessica Lahey. Both articles discuss how parents today are doing too much for their children, with detrimental effects.
Everyone has heard the war stories of parents who stay up all night to complete their child's science project. Or deliver forgotten lunches, assignments, or uniforms through the school gate. They are almost a cliche. And there is nothing wrong with Mum or Dad helping out occasionally with a difficult maths problem. But these days there seems to be a whole level of overprotectiveness: parents who are actually encouraging in their children a sense of helplessness.
Parents themselves are not entirely to blame. From the moment their children are born, parents naturally only want the best for them. As children grow older and begin their formal schooling, the emphasis on academic success can overwhelm both the parent and child.
Unfortunately the outcome of a child whose parent has never let them fail a single assignment or discover solutions to problems themselves, is an anxious adult unable to cope with inevitable future setbacks and failures.
In Hadfield's article, social worker Chris Daicos urges parents to build up resilience in their children by letting them experience life's ups and downs. High self-esteem arises from children being allowed to fail, to try again, and to eventually succeed. Ms Daicos also encourages parents not to do anything for their child that they can do themselves; to let their child solve problems at their own pace; and to help them consider the consequences of their decisions. It is undeniably hard to watch one's child experiencing hurt, anger and frustration, but ultimately these become the adults who are the happiest and most successful in their lives.
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